In a relationship, no man or woman wants or desires to be cheated and betrayed by his/her partner. In a broad sense, cheating in a relationship has something to do when your partner didn’t meet your expectations and you felt betrayed. Similarly, there are different signs of cheating in a relationship that people can tell but the question no one can answer is why do people cheat. Most of the time, cheating in a relationship involves a third-party that starts from texting or chatting, then meeting up behind your partner.
If you are in a relationship, you may fear that your partner is cheating. Experts define different types of cheating in a relationship but it is not always applicable to everyone. Moreover, there are also different definitions of unfaithful for people aside from those we see in the dictionary. For example, two persons who have a mutual understanding often fight about cheating; the real question here is, “is it cheating if you’re not official?” If people feel betrayed, they may call a person who betrayed them unfaithful. Let’s look at some reason experts have given on why do people cheat and what counts as cheating for them.
1. They are not confident about themselves and they are seeking acceptance from others. According to a psychotherapist, “sex is not the primary reason why people cheat.” One of the primary reasons a person has for cheating is that he or she feels something is missing in his or her life and it feels incomplete. Most of the time, a person can feel incomplete when he/she feels unappreciated and he/she looks for that missing piece on another person who can appreciate him/her.
2. They are afraid. Most people will ask, “is flirting cheating?”, but most of the time, a partner’s decision is often fear-based. A psychotherapist also said that a person may feel that they are not worthy of the love they are receiving; they are losing their sex appeal or they are being dismissed by others. Thus, they can’t see that they are appreciated so they look for validation towards other people.
3. They feel neglected by their partners. Women often consider someone that pursues them or exerts effort in a relationship on what to look for in a partner. In a relationship, a woman may act on the temptation if they feel that her partner is not pursuing her enough. Most of the time, a person craves for different tokens of appreciation, as simple as a compliment to feel that loved. However, if it is not enough, they resent their partner.
4. They are craving for variety and they acted on it. Being attracted outside a relationship and having sexual fantasies are normal for a human. For example, you may ask, “is texting someone else cheating?”. Texting others while in a relationship may be considered as cheating or it may not. Based on how you treat the people whom you are interacting with. When you are attracted and you decided to act on it while you are in a relationship, the problem begins. Sometimes, different people bring out our different sides and we tend to look out for it. We became happy that we are experiencing the variety and we tend to forget that we are in a relationship.
5. They met someone else. One of the most straightforward reasons for cheating is that your partner met someone else. It is also one of the most hurtful reasons for cheating for a person. A person may find someone new and leave his or her partner for the reason that he/she is not happy in his/her relationship anymore. A person who experienced this kind of cheating finds it difficult to look for ways on how to heal after being cheated on.
Given some of the reasons why people cheat, there are also signs to consider to know that your partner might be cheating on you.
Experts also listed what actions are considered cheating and some of them are the following:
1 There is a distance between the two of you. If you begin to notice that the things you do, how you talk or how you treat each other aren’t the way they used to be, you can doubt and look if your partner is cheating on you.
2. Your instinct tells you that he/she is cheating. Something might be going wrong in your relationship already and your instinct tells you so. You may check on it and talk about it calmly to verify.
3. You are spending less time on each other. Not like before, you are spending less time together. Your partner tells you that he/she is busy and he/she can’t meet up with you like they used to.
4. He/she doesn’t ask you to go out. Your partner doesn’t initiate to have a date with you or go out with you. He/she is having less time for you unlike what they used to do.
5. He/she tells you to spend time with other people. In a broad sense, your partner tends to think that if you start to spend time with other people, he/she can too.
6. There is a change in his/her schedule. When you want to meet up with your partner and he/she often make excuses, it’s time to talk about it.
7. He/she is secretive most of the time. Your partner doesn’t tell you where they have been or what they are doing when you ask him/her and they often get irritated talking about it to you.
8. You start to notice secret texts or chats. Your partner texting another woman or man might be a sign of cheating. Many people start cheating in a relationship using their cell phones or computers.
9. He/she panics when his/her phone rings and you’re around. They tend to panic when their phone rings and he/she doesn’t want to answer it whenever he/she is with you.
10. He/she doesn’t share his/her deepest thoughts with you anymore. Unlike what you do before, you are not talking about your deepest thoughts and feelings already.
11. They want to leave right away when you are together. Your partner often says he/she is tired and he/she wants to leave because there is a kind of emotional cheating when your partner thinks of someone else whenever he/she is with you and they fear getting caught.
12. He/she has a sudden change in how he/she looks. Your partner has a new reason to change how he/she looks when there is none.
13. He/she suddenly found a new best friend. Most of the time, when you are already suspicious of your partner, he/she makes an excuse that “someone” is just his/her best friend.
14. He/she spends time with his/her ex suddenly. He/she meets up with his/her ex suddenly and claims that nothing is happening.
15. He/she suddenly blame you. He/she becomes irritated and blame you when you open the topic about cheating.
There is a lot of definitions of cheating in a relationship depending on how a couple will take it. However, a couple must always remember to talk about their problems calmly and seriously. A couple must know how to respect each other and end a relationship in a good way if it’s not working anymore.