Love Advice for Your Fat Yet Fabulous Friends

In this modern era, there are trends like the “body-positivity” and the “fat acceptance movement” who respectively, took the world by storm in promoting inclusivity, support, and positive outlook in life because of the significant changes that they continually make in our society, culture, and daily lives as of today. Although we are more and more inclusive as the days pass by, like various shade ranges in make-up for every woman of color, lingerie is known brands who have sizes for all, fashion brands who got plus sizes available or even a section dedicated for them and the like, we can’t deny that there are still a lot of body shamers and bullies out there that keeps on targeting individuals that they can’t see to fit their description of a person who has a great body even if some are made public to be under fire for their own shady statements.

Sadly, this is because of their thwarted views resulting from the misrepresentation of what should be good and what is actually perfect as made by some brand campaigns, magazine statements, portrayal in movies or television series, or even by bashers in social media. Who are we kidding? A lot of people know that nobody in this world is perfect. They just have a self-standard perfectionism that is not justifiable and is resulting in harmful effects for the recipient of their rejection. So how can we give our love advice to our fat friends?

By showing them to accept one’s self

Accepting yourself is a way of showing self-love. It doesn’t mean that he or she is accepting the situation where they are being bullied and body shamed, but by taking control of it and standing up for himself or herself. Also, this means that he or she is not choosing to become their victim over and over again. Acceptance can impact them greatly in all aspects of themselves not just mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, psychologically. This change is actually empowering because they can choose on how people perceive and treat them, from being that “fat person” to this “strong, beautiful human being”. The latter sounds so much better, right? This also can be a step to happiness without their consent and being free in expressing who they are because they deserve it. They may now say goodbye to those pent-up emotions kept deep inside to allow them to become the person who they are meant to be.

By uplifting them

Words that are usually thrown at their way are really painful. These bullies would not sometimes stop maltreatment and whatever they are saying and doing is bad enough to be traumatic, especially when they feel empowered by the internet. Thus, the effects of these horrible deeds can be long-lasting and usually leaves a person a scarred being. You can do light things with them so they can take things off their mind by just eating a hearty meal, do some meditation or even talk about other stuff. It is important to make them feel that you are a safe space wherein they can rant about things with you and just listen to them all day, all night. Tell her/him to do things that are more important than focusing on negativity.

By boosting their Confidence

Esteem is a large factor in how an individual presents and projects herself to everyone. In their case, being confident reflects how good they must feel inside, but also on how they are embracing every part of their own. Lumps, bumps, stretch marks, and cellulite included Ashley Graham, the fierce and body-positive icon of this generation. She’s actually the first plus-size model to be the cover of Sports Illustrated. Ashley’s a true example of a person who our fab friends can take a note on how to flaunt you proudly. Talk about breaking glass ceilings, right?

By showing that we are just here for them

Supporting them does not mean that we need to wear kid gloves in handling their feelings and tiptoeing around them, but because we are there for them not just physically but in totality. We need to believe that these beautiful humans no matter what size they are, they are strong enough to handle the curveballs thrown in their way simply with or without us. We may not know what they really feel deep inside even if we think that we know what they are thinking, but if they need us to hold their hand, do not hesitate to hold it. If they need you to join them in eating healthy or exercising, go and do it. Lastly, when they ask you that they want you to be there beside them, do not hesitate and spend time with them.

By riding into the new tide of change 

The moments mentioned earlier encourages awareness and change of attitude and the tone used in addressing fab-ness. Change in this world is futile and those who resist it may get eaten up. So yes, there are still who don’t join in, but the important ones are those who jump into the bandwagon, ready for it. They have a saying nowadays that exclusivity is out (as those individuals who are proven to be the exclusives-only type of person are being bashed), inclusivity is very in.  In this case, fat is the new sexy, don’t you agree?

Final thoughts

These people do not need to apologize to anyone for the way they are. Yes, most of the time, it is a choice whether to be fat or not. But you should always remember that it is their own body and it is their own choice. We don’t make to decide it for them just because we don’t like what they have chosen, even if they actually have no choice about it also. They are their own people. Remember to not force them what we think is right for them, but guide them instead. Furthermore, a healthy friend means a happy mind, heart, body, and soul. To all who are reading this, let me remind you that being fat is not the problem, society is.

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