You have a close bond with a man and you can feel that he loves to keep you around. He talks to you often, wants to hang out with you and you could seem to be in a relationship but the fact is you’re not. He didn’t say anything directly about that and you could not make the first move. If only you can read a man’s mind, then you will be able to figure out the reasons behind his actions.
You can’t seem to get your mind out of it and your situation is very frustrating. He wants to keep you around but he doesn’t want a relationship. Is that the signal he wants to send you? Frustrating as it seems, and though you can’t read minds, you can still figure out his true motives on you. The truth is where he stands is not always about what he thinks but it is more on what he does. His actions will tell you the things that you need to know.
In order to figure it out, here are 4 possible reasons why he keeps you around but doesn’t want a relationship:
It is convenient for him
His actions and words already said that he doesn’t want a relationship but wants to keep you around. Since you are still with him even though he already said that, he thinks you are okay with that kind of arrangement. He believes you are both on the same page.
He is just using you to satisfy his wants
You are not in a relationship but for sure you do have feelings for him. So he’s milking the situation and taking you for granted to get what he wants. He can use you for companionship, for sex, for an ego booster, for money, for a rebound, for making his ex jealous, and so on and so forth.
So he can date around as well
Since you are not officially together, you cannot demand loyalty and exclusiveness to him. So while you two can go out together and hang out, he can also date around as well when he wants to because there are no rules to set. He is around but he’s emotionally unavailable.
Because you are letting him
Obvious reason why he’s keeping you around but doesn’t want a relationship is that you are letting him. You let him keep you around even when it’s obvious that he is not serious with you. You can go ahead and leave him and won’t allow him to do that to you, but you’re not doing it. You are letting him so he is just glad to stick around until he no longer wants you.
For sure things are now clearer to you than ever. You are in a toxic relationship that’s not even an official relationship. Now, you need to decide on what you should do to straighten things up. Here are 5 things you need to know and do in this kind of situation:
Understand that the two of you are not on the same page
You want commitment, intimacy, and connection. But for him on the other side just wants to play around and wants the total opposite. What works for you doesn’t work for him. So you need to understand that as long as he thinks that way, you are not going to work out.
Focus on what he really does, and don’t believe in what he just says
When he realized he lost you, he might crawl back to you, tell you things to get you back. Actually, he can really mean it and realized that he wants you, but the tricky part is that when you let him again, he might go back to his old self and treat you the same. So if he does this, you can decide if you want to give him a chance, but when you see that he’s taking you for granted again, it’s time to really let go.
Don’t tolerate his bad behaviors and blame yourself
When he is behaving badly, you might feel that you’re the reason and you’re blaming yourself. When you have a tendency to blame yourself when something bad happens, you are vulnerable to narcissists like him. Although he’s the one doing the wrong things, you feel like it’s your fault. Does he have records of leaving girls with a broken heart? You are most likely next and he’s not going to take responsibility for it.
Learn to Slow Down
Trust is not given, it’s earned. When your guy is asking for a second chance and promises to change, it’s up to you to decide whether you will give him the chance. However, when you do, remember to slow down. You need to keep your stand and see if he’s really changed. Do not hyped things up as nothing happened. Let him know that he needs to earn your trust and he needs to work on it before you can finally say that his words are true.
Remember to take care of yourself
When he wants to get you back, it’s in his nature to rush and fix it. But you need to think about yourself. Do you really need him? Would it really be a good idea to open the door for him again? Remember to think about whether it would only cause you more pain than happiness. Maybe life would be happier if you stop chasing him.
Those are just a few of the reasons why he’s keeping you around but doesn’t want a relationship. And additional tips on what you should know and do about it. For sure, your case can be different but this situation can help you figure out what you should do. If he’s toxic to your life, learn to let go. You deserve someone who will be serious about you and who will value you truly.