Dating a narcissist is definitely hassle and exhausting. They can be charming and captivating on the surface. But when you go deeper, they are self-centered and manipulative. If you are in a relationship with someone who turned out to be a narcissist, it can be hard to leave them because they may already make themselves the center of your life. But if you do leave them, you can benefit emotionally. That’s the reason why you need to have the courage to push through it.
If you are still reluctant in breaking up with your narcissist boyfriend, here are 5 things that you need to know about breaking up with a narcissist to help you balance out what you need to do:
The break up will feel sudden and harsh
If you tell him you’re breaking up, then a huge crash is going to hit you. He will not hesitate to rip past issues or mistakes without considering your feelings. His reason will be all about him and nothing to do with you. Narcissists are very good at taking advantage of others in order to get what they want so when they gladly dump you after you dumping them then they’re done using you to their own benefit. They will make it seem they are the first ones to dump you so that they will not look pitiful or weak. They will not show any regret or remorse when you break up because they want to show that they are the most important. You need to realize that you better without this type of person.
They will try to negotiate or threat
When they think that they can still get something from you, then they will beg you to stay or try to negotiate with you. They will not let go of you easily. They may all of a sudden make things for you for a while to gain you back. But when they can see that you’re not bending in, they will start to threat you by saying things that they know are your weakness. Don’t listen to their manipulation because it’s not worth going back. You need to have the courage to stand with your decision. Remember that breaking up with him is the best decision you can make to yourself in this regard.
Break the trauma bond
Usually, you will experience a trauma bond during the relationship. It is a connection created between the abuser and the victim through intense emotional experiences. You need to cut that bond. But it can be difficult to cut this bond because it has an illusion. You are abused but you love the reward when you do something right for the abuser. You are blinded by this illusion of love because you are manipulated by the cycle of desperation and self-blame to win him back.
Maintain no contact
Having no contact after a break up with a narcissist can be liberating at first. You are finally out of the cage. But to maintain it needs real strength and courage. They may try to win you back and try to manipulate you as they know exactly your weaknesses. You need to delete their number, block them in your phone and all social media connections. Think of the ways they can contact you and cut them all off. If you have any mutual connections, remove it. They might use your friends to manipulate or bad mouth you. So in order not to get influenced by their manipulation and pretentious words, forgo communication. Remove any association that can connect you with them, unless of course they are good friends of yours and you can trust them.
Always remember the reason why you’re breaking up with a narcissist
It is understandable that after your break up, you may feel down. These negative feelings that come in waves will possibly make you think that you made the wrong decision. You may start to think that you also have good times with them before. Don’t listen to those feelings. Remember that it is not the true representation of your whole relationship. You can write down the reasons why you wanted to break up. You may have written and known these reasons and it took a while for you to muster up some courage to finally be able to do it. So your decision was not an impulsive decision.
Listed above are just a few of the reasons why you should break up with a narcissist and what you should know about it. Now it is time to focus on yourself and recover in life.
It’s time to focus on yourself and recover meaning in life. You can try to pursue new hobbies and meet new people. You can use your energy in new pursuits while being free from a hassle life with a narcissist. Reconnect with people that make you happy and focus on improving yourself.
You may not see and appreciate the effects immediately, but you will start to feel the difference after a while. You will look back and be grateful because you have escaped from a manipulative and toxic people in your life. Try to date again and meet new people again. You will find that many people are not narcissists and someone is going to come in your life to love you for who you are. While you may have many scars from the toxic relationship you just came out, remember that this serves as the learning experience that will equip you for the future. You have learned something new about yourself and realized what kind of person best suits you. When a narcissist comes in your way, you are fully aware of the signs because you have been there. You can avoid falling into the same trap again. You are opening your way to a better relationship you truly deserve.