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5 Tips on How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone

I’m sure we have all been in love with someone that we check whenever they are online, look at photos of them on their different social media accounts, and maybe we have exchanged a couple of words with each other but what if they do not feel the same about you? Of course, you can try to win their affection, but in some cases, that would not be the best way to solve this problem—sometimes, we just need to accept it, and move on. I know, easier said than done, right? There really is no secret on how to stop obsessing over someone, but there are a couple of things you can try that might really help!

Let’s say a girl named Abby has this huge crush on this guy named Mike. She is a pretty 21-year old girl, currently in medical school (and doing really good, might I add), really kind, and very sociable. She sounds great, right? But Mike, as awesome Abby is, does not seem to fancy her. Of course, he might be in a relationship with someone else or she just isn’t his type but when Abby confessed how she truly felt towards him, he said that he only sees her as a friend. For days, she cried about how things turned out, but when she finally realized that she no longer wants to be sad over Mike, she did these things which helped her a lot.

Deleted all things that reminded her of him.

Deleted all things that reminded her of him.

Some may call this move a bit bitter, but this is actually necessary. Abby erased all their text conversations, their pictures together on her phone, and put away all the birthday gifts she has ever received from Mike. This way, she would not be reminded of him as much. Declutter—get rid of the things that will not help you in the process

She treated herself with a new haircut and a good massage.

A little trim and a whole-body massage would help massively! Abby went to the salon, and her favorite spa the following day. Self-care is very important at this point because it is so easy to let yourself go. You need to take care of yourself all the more at this time.

She kept herself busy.

Abby did a few things she has always thought of doing but never had the courage or time to. And boy, did they all help!

Went to the gym, and went out for a jog often

Went to the gym, and went out for a jog often

Again, self-care. Because she went to work out in the gym, not only did she get in shape, she also got to meet a lot of new people.

Discovered a new hobby

Because Abby no longer hangs out with Mike, she had more time to do other things. She finally had the time to pursue her love for music and took piano lessons!

Got a pet dog

Abby has always wanted to have a pet dog, but she couldn’t because Mike and her friends come over to her apartment sometimes, and Mike hated dogs. Getting a dog helped her feel like she was needed, thus helping her rebuild her self-esteem. She got a cute puppy that made her feel loved every single day, and this helped her tons!

Volunteered at various charities

She has also wanted to do this because she really loved kids. She now has extra time to spare to finally do charity work like visit orphanages, and give kids supplies they might need for school, and all that good stuff. Not only did made her feel happy but it also made her feel like her problems were nothing compared to what those children were going through. She was lucky enough to have her parents support her entire life and that she never had to work at a very young age to get the things that she needed. This activity made her realize how blessed she was despite the problems she was facing.

Spent more time with friends and family.

Spent more time with friends and family. Spent more time with friends and family.

Of course, this is never bad. Abby went to visit her parents more often, and went out with her friends, excluding Mike, of course (although she was not really avoiding him). Having a couple of drinks with her besties every now and then made her realize that she could still have a good time even without Mike. She got to meet new people when they go out as well—people that she could have ignored because she was too focused on Mike, and how to start a conversation with him.

Traveled to a lot of new and exciting places

She went out and sought an adventure somewhere she has never been to before because why not? Abby packed her bags and went to a place she has never been to before. She interacted with the locals, tried out new and different foods, took pictures of incredible sceneries, and just simply enjoyed life. How did this help? Well, she got a feel of how big the world is, and how small that city where was staying at was. There was so much to see, so many more people she could meet, and a lot of opportunities could open up for her. It was like she had an awakening—the possibilities are endless, and this gave her hope. This is also very important, to have hope. This is the drive she needs to help her move on.

To sum it up…

Getting over someone is like getting exercise—it’s going to hurt, but it’s going to be good for you, especially if you are trying to get over someone who is toxic or just someone who does not value you. And that is not your fault. Now if you ask me how to stop obsessing over someone, I would suggest traveling, spending time with friends and family, keeping yourself busy with activities you enjoy, and taking extra care of yourself. Once you rebuild that self-confidence back, you should be A-OK!

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