When you like someone, you tend to go out of your way to make sure you can spend time with him any way you know. You start by simply noticing him. It starts as a simple like/ crush- you like the way they’re presentable, you are in awe of their intelligence, you fancy their fashion, you like that they’re down to earth. The list goes on. You never really notice it but as time goes by, you find yourself liking them more.
You suddenly have the urge to get closer, know everything about them, and try to be their friend first. You’d do anything just to get noticed or develop a closer friendship. Even if the coffee shop where he works is the opposite direction from your place, you’d still take that route just to catch a glimpse of him. You try to listen to their favorite bands so you could gain an understanding of the music so you can have something to talk about. You delay clocking off work if you see that he is still in the office and you log out when he does so you could share the lift. When he is not looking, you gaze dreamily upon him carefully studying his face and turn serious when he looks back, as if you’re worked up on something so he wouldn’t notice.
The utopian dream is that he likes you back, you both become close friends then he asks you out. You say yes and you start a relationship. However, life is not like that at all. Most crushes do not like you back, and to make matters worse, they avoid you.
The most hurtful and embarrassing predicament would be if the person you liked showed interest but ended up rejecting you. They know you like them. They give you the time you want from them and make you feel like what you both have is mutual and you are taking the relationship towards the same direction- or that you have a relationship at all. Of course, if you are really into the person, you wouldn’t notice the subtle hints he is dropping that he doesn’t like you because you’re too focused on your feelings and end up not thinking rationally. The moment they tell you the truth, you feel your whole world crashing and you are devastated.
They are kind if they tell you the truth, one on one, because there are people who will let you know through text, a phone call, a Facebook status, you’ll hear through the grapevine or they just parade their girlfriend in front of you. It’s something one doesn’t want to be on the receiving end. If you are, then you’d feel embarrassed, played and outright betrayed.
So how do you deal with this kind of rejection? How do you move on from here and take your mind off the situation?
1. Have a good cry.
Accept what happened to you and spend half a day alone or with a close friend who will understand you without judgment. Crying your heart out will be best as an initial step to recovery. And I don’t mean crying quietly and suffering. Cry and scream your heart out. Vent out and let all the bad feelings go by saying what you truly feel. After this, I assure you, you’ll feel lighter.
2. Let off some steam.
Get active, go to the gym and exercise. Exercise releases endorphins and it’ll make you feel much better. You could even try a new sport- badminton, table tennis, or even rock climbing! Anything to let the sweat out and be done with it. If you like extreme sports or just anything extreme and out of the box, you can try archery, range shooting, or boxing! That’ll blow off some steam.
3. Self-care is important.
Spend time at the spa, have your nails done, and try a new hair treatment. Having a quality “me-time” is essential. It gives you a sense of purpose, that you can reinvent yourself and be happy again.
4. Spend time with people who make you happy.
Coming from an emotionally draining experience, you need to let loose and have fun. You need to be yourself where no one throws judgment around. Having friends by your side by this time is one way to help you heal. They love you and care for you and they will encourage you to be better and do better. So go have a nice lunch or dinner with the girls and catch up, have a karaoke night, or go party.
Go buy the handbag you’ve been swooning over the past few months. Buy the shoes you want because it makes you happy. Shopping is therapeutic and more so after a rejection or even break up!
6. Treat yourself with food.
When you like someone, you tend to be self-conscious and you veer away from food that will make you put on the pounds. Treat yourself with food that you have deprived yourself to eat for a while. Go to a buffet, have a sweet and creamy dessert and not feel guilty about it.
7. Have a productive alone time.
Read a book, clean and reorganize your apartment, sort your bills, reply to emails, and even bathe your dog. A productive me time will do more than just take your mind off of things, it’ll let you accomplish one or more tasks on your to-do list.
8. Go to the beach.
The beach is calming and soothing. It is the best place where you could reflect and think about what happened. This is one place where you could relax, no matter what your situation is. Waking up in the morning with the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore is magical and will put a smile on your face. The beach will give you the much-needed breather and refreshes you.
There are still a lot of ways you can deal with rejection from a man, the aforementioned are just a few of the ways how you can. It all boils down to this- you must learn the value of your self-worth. No man should make you feel small and insignificant. While you acknowledge that there was a lapse in judgment when you were too love-struck to think logically, the best gift you could give yourself is to learn from that and to not do it again.