When you are in a relationship you will want to get close to your partner as much as possible. You will want to know him much deeper than you already have, you will want to understand him much more. But what if you were in a relationship with someone who is not emotionally available.
There are instances that we might think that we are ready to enter a new relationship and that we already have moved on from our past. But what we might think may be wrong. There a lot of relationship that started with “I think I’m ready to enter a relationship” when in fact you are still not ready emotionally, we might think we are but we aren’t.
Entering a new relationship when you are emotionally unavailable will just make things hard for both you and the person you like. It can be emotionally straining as you will tend to be distant from your partner. The relationship, in this case, will falter instead of growing. And it definitely put a toll on both of you emotionally.
There will be a time that you are going to enter a new relationship, but how will you know if you or your partner is emotionally unavailable?
Here are some of the list of things that you need to be mindful of.
Flirting with Flattery
Some people are just full of flattery but are not looking for a more serious relationship. They just like short term intimacy but are not ready for commitment. They just like chasing but do not want the catch.
Now, this type of person is definitely hard to deal with, watch out for this sign. You will know if the one you are dating is emotionally unavailable if they are controlling. They will force their routine on you, will control you in any way possible. From simply preventing you to do things like seeing your friends or family.
When the person you are dating shows signs that they are not into a long term relationship and does not like a more serious commitment then he may be emotionally unavailable. Regardless if they make you feel that they are vulnerable, bragging or compliments you a lot, but shows that they don’t want to commit to a more serious relationship then get out while you still can.
If you are dating a person and you might feel that he is emotionally unavailable, try to make him tell you about his past relationship and why it ended. Sometimes they end it when intimacy is starting to develop.
When you are dating someone you tend to learn more about him/her. This will also tell you if they are ready to be in a new relationship or not. If they talk more about their past and how things are supposed to be if they were still together, then this is a sign that he is still emotionally unavailable to be in a new relationship. The past is supposed to be the past and you need to move on in order for you to be ready to enter a new relationship. But if the person you are dating tells you about his ex all the time, then he has not been able to completely move on and he is just making you a rebound.
Dating someone new is quite a lot of job because you get to know a different person over again. But you will know if the person is not really ready to commit when they keep on looking for flaws to end what you just started. When they can’t find any valid flaws they will tend to make things up in order to end it immediately.
This sign is pretty much ignored by most. Let ‘s admit it, we all tend to justify our partners’ actions. We tend to explain to ourselves that they’re probably tired or drained from work when they come home rude or angry at you. But sometimes that is not the case. Rudeness and anger may be a sign that your partner is emotionally unavailable. It is very understandable that working is exhausting in both mind and body, but it does not give a person the right to be rude or angry at someone when there is no reason at all. If your partner is rude or angry at you all the time then he is definitely emotionally unavailable.
Avoid someone who makes you feel that you are not enough, who are cocky and signaling low self-esteem. Commitment is about being confident of you not the other way around.
If you’re dating someone who is late most of the time, then this person is avoiding serious commitment.
Invasiveness or Evasiveness
Being in a relationship means you trust your partner with your past. But if the person you’re dating avoids intimate questions then this is the sign that they don’t want something more.
There are also instances that they will proactively ask inappropriate questions too soon like money and sex, this is a sign that they are not into a more serious relationship and they don’t want it to go to the next level.
Beware of sexual cues given too early. This is a sign that what they are after is only temporary and does not want to commit. Look out for this sign, you may think that they’re into you but when it gets serious they will find a way to destroy it.
Now, these are just some of the signs that a person is emotionally unstable and does not want a more serious and long term commitment. You need to open your eyes and look out for other signs that might tip you off.
When you want to enter a new relationship make sure that you are ready mentally and emotionally. Let us be sensitive about others’ feelings too not just ours, that is what being in a relationship is about.