How to Reply to an “I Miss you” Text From Your Ex

You’re in your usual spot in your favorite coffee shop, happily sipping your latte while your friends are chatting and laughing. Everything seems to be finally going well. The past few months hadn’t been easy; moving on was hard. But you managed to move on with the help of your family and friends. Suddenly, your phone vibrates. You check the screen. It’s your ex.

“I miss you,” the text reads.

You silently stare at your phone. You feel different emotions at the same time. Strangely, you feel happy because he remembers you. But you also feel quite annoyed because you don’t know what the text message actually means. And you feel very confused because, well… you already broke up, so why did he tell you he missed you?

Reasons Why Your Ex Tells You “I Miss You”

1. He’s bored or lonely.

Unfortunately, there are some guys who would text their ex just because they feel bored and have nothing else to do. Other guys might be feeling lonely and are looking for someone they can talk to. Some even feel like they can just bother their ex anytime with their text messages.

2. He wants to know how you feel.

Another possible reason why he sent you an “I miss you” text is because he is curious about how you feel. He might be trying to know if you also miss him or not. Sometimes, people just break up without discussing their relationship and the reasons for separating. They end up regretting a lot of things. After some time, they tend to look back and wonder why they broke up with their partners. It’s only natural to miss someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a long time.

Or perhaps, he also just wants to know how you’re doing. There are a lot of good guys out there who actually care about other people, including their ex. And this is also the case when you separated in good terms. 

 3. He’s drunk.

You probably heard people say that alcohol seems to give someone the courage and confidence to do or say something they couldn’t when they’re not drunk. This might be one of those times. The sad part is that you don’t know if they actually mean what they said or if it’s just the “alcohol talking”.

4. He actually misses you.

While he may not have the courage to tell you this in person, he may be missing you a lot and he wants you to know that. It’s also possible that he’s having trouble letting you go.

Now that you know some reasons why he sent you that text, let’s move on to the most important part.

How to Respond to your Ex’s “I Miss you” Text:

1.  If you are thinking about getting back with him…

 Assess your feelings. Do you also miss him? Are you hoping to get back with him? Is there a chance for reconciliation?

It’s very easy to just respond and say “I miss you, too.” But remember the possible reasons why he sent you that text. You’ll never know the real reason unless you speak to him in person. Let him exert some effort and initiate things further.

Second, there’s a reason why you two broke up. Consider that before deciding to get back with him. Did you break up because of your differences? Or was it because of a third party? Or long-distance? Was it because one or both of you got bored with your relationship? Were you too busy to make time for him or vice versa? Or maybe the reason for the breakup had something to do with family or other personal reasons? If you just tell him, “I miss you, too”, he might think that there isn’t anything else to discuss and you can just go back to the way you were before. You might not be able to settle your differences, or talk about previous issues, or reach a compromise. Your reconciliation will not be successful if you don’t talk about what happened in the past.

It’s okay to give your relationship a second chance. However, think twice before sending that “I miss you, too” text. In fact, think carefully and ask yourself if that is what you really want. Sometimes, we think that we miss the person, when in fact, we only miss the relationship or the fun parts of your relationship.

Also, take it slow. Don’t just rush and tell him, “I miss you, too. Let’s get back together.” Maybe you really miss him, or maybe you just feel pity towards him. If it’s the latter, don’t make him suffer by giving him false hopes. 

2. If you are not thinking about getting back with him…

You can simply ignore the message. Don’t waste your time thinking about what he said and whether he meant it or not. If you have already moved on, you don’t need to confuse yourself or worry about what to say or how to respond to his text. You should focus on being happy with your current status if you are single, and with your new partner if you are in a new relationship. 

In addition, don’t tell him you miss him just because you feel that you need or want to take revenge. You may feel empowered at first, but you might regret doing it later on. It’s best to just ignore him if you don’t have any plans to get back with him. It’s unfair to both of you.

If you are certain that you don’t want to reconcile with him but you still want to send a response, you can tell him you’re sorry but you don’t feel the same. Push him away gently and tell him to move on.

Dealing with an ex may be tricky. But time can help you heal and recover from the experience. If you end up getting back with your ex after sending a positive reply to that “I Miss You” text, that’s good. But if not, it’s better to just move on and do what’s best for both of you.

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