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How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

Being in a relationship

Any genuine relationship requires hard work. Be it friendship, family and especially romantic and intimate relationship. Unfortunately, society today has a different view regarding a relationship. We fall in love with the idea of being in a relationship rather than the relationship itself.

We are so used to the idea of fairy tales where relationships are some sort of cosmic magical event happening in our lives. This concept eliminates the most important aspect of relationship–that to love is a choice and we are responsible for our actions.  

Despite the popularity of “swipe left and right” dating apps, many of us still wish for a lasting partnership. One of the foundations for a lasting relationship is commitment and this requires both parties to work hard in achieving that goal. If you are looking for ways on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up, read on.  

Why conflict?

Do you know conflict can be good for your relationships? Many people find it uncomfortable dealing with conflicts and they tend to ignore and sweep it under the rug. Unfortunately, this method only breeds bigger issues in the future.

Learning to handle conflicts properly will strengthen your relationship and leads to a positive outcome. Benefits of conflict are:

  • Better intimacy. When conflicts are being dealt with together as a couple, it gives a sense of respect and bonding. It is also an opportunity for your partner to know you more and thus create more intimacy and understanding.
  •  Improve trust. When couples are allowed to express their feelings and at the same time respecting each other boundaries, this can lead to trust. Knowing you can freely argue but still feel safe is what strengthens the partnership.
  •  Correct behavior. If you see conflict as an opportunity to be better, it will indeed. Being patience, loving and attentive are some of the effects of healthy arguments and this will correct any poor behaviors in the past.
  •  Feeling better. Ignoring issues that are worth discussing can really put an emotional burden on you and this can lead to stress. Healthy arguments mean you were able to express your feelings without judgment.

How to solve relationship problems

Solving your relationship problem is challenging and painful at times. However, since you and your partner have different personalities, values, and even beliefs, conflicts and misunderstandings are bound to happen. With the proper approach and mentality, it is possible to solve differences without breaking up. Here are things you can do:

Understand that a perfect relationship does not exist

When you allow ourselves to be with another human being, you need to accept the reality that each of you is two different yet unique individuals. There will be conflicts as you sort your life together. Being different doesn’t mean you are not meant for each other.

Mature love means you are willing to set aside differences, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and also respectful of each other life experiences. Understanding that both of you are two unique beings navigating life and growing together makes the partnership meaningful.

Communicate

If you want to know how to solve your relationship problems without breaking up, start talking to your partner. Do not be afraid to open up about your feelings and let your thoughts be known. Many misunderstandings happen when couples refuse to communicate but have a certain level of expectations from their partners.

The problem is, most of the time your partner does not know what you want and you need to communicate your expectations and needs. It also allows couples to understand each other and their struggles. Be assertive and specific when you are communicating.

Communication is not just about talking but also listening and these two skills require practice. Make it a habit to listen to your partner’s verbal and no-verbal cues.

Some issues may take a while to resolve but do not give up on communicating with your partner. As you understand each other more, the easier it will be to compromise.

Be calm

When arguments arise, it is difficult to control emotions and couples may end up exchanging heated words and hurting each other. Unfortunately, acting out our emotions doesn’t solve the problem.

Stay calm and strive to solve any problem like a matured adult. Any problems can be solved when couples focus on looking for a solution and decide to mute any drama that may come.

 When you feel overwhelmed or angry with the situation, take a few steps back and breathe deeply a couple of times. In order to solve any conflicts, rational thinking is important and being too emotional can prevent both of you to think clearly. Remember, conflicts are simply opportunities for growth and bonding.

You are in the same team

When you are angry and have resentment, is easy to forget the partnership you have build, where you have common goals and dreams to achieve in life. Remember the time when your partner was kind, helpful and loving. Simple acts like making you a coffee, taking out the garbage or clean after a mess will remind you of what really matters.

Let go of expectations

One of the tips on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up is to let go of expectations. There are people who have a list of expectations in a relationship even before they are in a real relationship. This type of mentality can really lead you to failure. It puts unnecessary pressure on your relationships and eventually leads to resentment and anger.

Take care of yourself

When you are tired, stressed out or burned out, it is easy to be critical and sensitive. And when you are in a relationship for quite some time, you will always think about the “we” and forget about yourself. Many people do not realize a healthy individual both mentally and physically leads to a better relationship. You cannot take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself.  You can also read: Hyper-Empathy: 12 Secrets To Take Care of Your Couple

It is possible to find ways on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up as long as both are committed to work on their part and have a mature loving relationship.  

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