How do you talk about your sexual desires, fantasies, and dreams with your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? If you’re having these pesky and sometimes unusual sexual fantasies or desires during your marriage that you want to come out in your lovemaking in your bed but you’re afraid to tell your partner your desires, it is perfectly healthy and normal. About ⅔ of couples have relatively experienced being unable to express their own inner sexual desires in bed and they’re unable to do so because they lack the sex talk.
With that said, in this manuscript, we will provide you insights and great information on how one can talk about your sexual desires with your spouse.
Overview of the general consensus on:
The majority of modern marriages today have many marital problems, aside from issues such as lack of intimacy, cheating, betrayal, power struggles or abuse. Many experts certainly believe that a lack of sex in a couple’s marriage can be double trouble because it is usually caused by underlying themes of lack of open communication and intimacy.
Aside from financial problems the last of sex or sexuality in marriage also ranks high in the index of the most common marital problems. It also appears that the lack of sexual fulfillment seems to be a problem discussed in the majority of online relationship forums as well as the rise of online searches on guides, tips and some information on how to have a sex talk with their partner.
It is understandable for these couples to feel stressed and have anxiety because sex is a great thing to do but a very uncomfortable topic to talk about because of our very prerogative views about sex which is still seen as immoral and “dirty”.
The truth is sex is a natural expression of primal desires of the human brain which is based on the subconscious signal of mating that is beneficial in reproduction and mixing of genes.
How can I talk about my sexual desires with my spouse?
There are a number of proven and effective communication styles that can propagate a positive sex talk with your partner, let’s discuss some of the things you can do to have a talk with your partner about sex and your sex fantasies.
First off, it is important to never ever talk or mention anything about your sexual desires or fantasies during nighttime or when your partner is in your bedroom at the time for sleeping time because it will always make things more awkward and never ever talk about your sexual fantasies or desires during or after your sex.
Always remember that sex feels good to do but it can be a very uncomfortable topic to talk about. Instead of worrying about where to find the right place to talk about sex, have positive sex talk in a location where you two are not comfortable and at the same time not stressful.
Try to choose a place with neutral undertones and always make sure that the talk is private and confidential and only the two of you can hear it. Make the talk as sincere and genuine as possible and if you’re a little bit afraid to do so or you’re shy about it you can try taking deep breaths while grounding yourself in.
While having the not-so-dirty sex talk please ensure that the kids are not around, you can also pick a more neutral time to talk about sex not early in the morning and not in bedtime.
Always remember that talking about sex and your performance of sexual intimacy to each other matters because passion is one of the most fundamental foundations of a strong and healthy marriage and lack of sexual intimacy can be a serious problem that should be addressed.
How can I talk about my sex problems to my spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend?
To talk about any lingering or unknown or sometimes scared to talk about sex problems you should always start the conversation in a soft and light tone and you should build a rapport so that your partner is comfortable and at the same time he or she is subconsciously connected to you.
Try to avoid confrontational or harsh tones of communication that involve blaming as it doesn’t do good to your sex problems it only makes the matter worse as it cuts off any intimacy present in your current situation.
Also as we’ve said before try to be gentle when talking to your spouse or partner to ensure a positive two-way communication. Also, try not to do anything impulsive at this moment like asking them to be more good in bed or forcefully tell them the things that turn you on.
Also do not purchase any books promoting, sex educational, guide or advice or any kind of sex toys for the purpose of your own pleasure as it may harm your partner’s ego and self-worth. Only purchase these things once you and your spouse have agreed to the purchasing of those items and you have discussed the issue you are facing with your spouse.
This is also the time where you can sincerely talk about your expectations about your intimacy and sexual activities, you can also talk about your desires, turn on and some of your deepest and darkest fears about marriage, try to make them realize that you want to talk about this not just for the sake of a good sex but to also make them remember that sexual passion and intimacy is needed to form a long-lasting marriage.
Remember to make this topic more meaningful to your spouse and try to make the best of these sex talk because sex really talks! Your comfort level and your ability to express your innermost thoughts about sex with your spouse can create a more comfortable safe and loving sex that can build more trust and loyalty to each other!