According to Divorce Magazine, 50% of wives and 60% of husbands cheat on their partner and infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce.
Interestingly, cheating partners are well aware of what they are doing is wrong and can ruin their marriage. However, they have no plans divorcing their wives and only 3% choose to marry the mistress.
Cheating partner triggers a lot of negative emotions and well as questions. You may even blame yourself for allowing it to happen as you notice the physical signs your husband is cheating. However, whatever the reasons are, a cheater is to blame and should own his mistake.
Read also: Infidelity: Why Treason Hurts So Badly?
Why husbands cheat
There are various factors and motivations for why husbands choose to have an affair. Here are some examples:
According to a couple of therapist Sue Johnson, infidelity is a symptom of bigger struggle and this the inability to connect with the partner. When the husband feels disconnected, they feel neglected and may experience better moments with someone which encourages them to continue with the affair. Also, a life routine can cause the couple to drift apart because of familiarity.
The majority of extramarital affairs happen to men in their late 40s to 50s. The midlife crisis also contributes to the existing insecurity of husbands who cheated. They may feel old, not rich or not good looking anymore. Extramarital activities somehow boost his ego and seek to validate his value and desire.
Men who are immature will more likely to cheat because of the way he thinks about his actions and consequences. Lack of understanding and childish behaviors often lead him to unnecessary sexual affairs.
Husbands suffering from any type of addiction are at high risk of cheating. Impulsive behavior and poor decision making due to drug use often lead them to have an affair in order to numb whatever struggles they have.
What are the physical signs your husband is cheating?
1. Secretive with his phone and computer
If you notice he is being secretive with his phone and cautious with whoever is using his computer, then you need to take a deep breath because this is a red flag.
2. Changes his appearance
Who doesn’t want a healthy, good looking husband but if this is a sudden change, you might start looking at the details. People who cheat feel like he is somebody new and he feels the need to be desired and loved.
3. Fading intimacy
Husbands who are involved with an affair will slowly detach with less emotional intimacy. This is because his energy is now focused on the mistress.
4. Hard to find and difficult to contact
If you notice he is less visible around the house, call his office or another workplace that you know. People who cheat will try to insert his extramarital activities into his regular routine and this might mean skipping some family hours.
5. Spending too much money
Another common sign of infidelity is a sudden increase in his financial expenses. Unusual credit card charges, reduced amount of money in your savings or retirement accounts, etc are obvious signs because infidelity requires money.
6. A new hobby or interest
That new hobby doesn’t just pop out of nowhere. This is another physical signs your husband is cheating. Somebody introduced it to him and this can either be his friend or girlfriend. Want to introduce your husband to new hobbies?
7. Being hostile
One way for cheaters to justify their actions is to put the blame on you. They will find all sorts of reason and rationalization such as complaining about your appearance, not being adventurous or fun, under-appreciate his effort for the family and so on just so he can assign the guilt to you.
8. His friends are uncomfortable around you
Your husband’s friends will probably know of the affair before you so they might feel uncomfortable seeing you because of guilt. They can either be too nice or simply avoiding you.
9. Changes in sexual activity
As you grow old, sex is still important. 19 Expert Pieces of Advice On Having the Healthiest Sex Life after 40. However, a sudden increase or decrease in your bedroom activities indicates something unusual. Increase sex or being overly affectionate can be a sign that he is compensating the guilt feeling while decrease sex means he is focused on the new person.
10. Sudden changes in daily routine
If you notice your husband constantly going on a business trip or frequently working overtime, it’s time to check his activities. A business trip could mean getaway with the mistress while working late nights leads to late-night outs together.
11. Liking someone’s post on social media regularly
When men are looking for validation, they will exert extra effort to show appreciation with the person they are cheating with. This physical sign your husband is cheating can be traced easily to social media.
12. Gets angry when you ask about his whereabouts
A simple question about where he has been can trigger an exaggerated response from him. Fear of you finding out about his affair makes him stressful and paranoid.
13. Spoil you with gifts
Beware when he is spoiling you with lots of gift which is not the usual husband you know. Guilt is the trigger of why they are doing this act.
14. Mentioned a certain female regularly
When you notice your husband talking regularly to a new female friend or does he mentioned her to you frequently while showing admiration? Pay extra attention as this is also a sign of cheating.
15. Points the finger at you
One classic sign of a cheater is accusing you of cheating on him. Unfortunately, there are husbands who decided to cheat because they are afraid of being cheated upon. Behavior like this is often caused by their own insecurities.
It is important to note that it is possible to notice all these signs and found out your husband is not cheating. Nonetheless, these are indicators of underlying issues in your relationships that can be improved.
Moreover, not all infidelity leads to divorce. In fact, a significant percentage of married people choose to stay and work on their relationships. It can be challenging but with the right attitude and mentality, the relationship can last for years to come.