Breaking up with someone you love and live with is the most appalling experiences, but we all can experience it. However, there’s collective support and comfort in that, at least.
As human beings, we don’t want to purposely cause pain and depression, particularly to those we love. That is breaking up with someone you live with and that you love is dreadful, excruciating and utterly hated, and it’s also why people do it poorly.
When we live with someone, it’s like saying that “I think she/he might be the one.” When this forecast turns out to be wrong, it’s very hard to accept that we’re wrong about something that once felt so perfectly.
After living with him/her and dating for a long time enough to warrant the living together, it’s difficult to run away. There’s a feeling of investment in your partner and the result of being together eternally.
Accept That It’s Going to Be Hard
Once you think and decide how to break up with significant other, you can’t undo the feeling. It’s a pandora box-like of relationship. Your partner will be hurt wounded and angry as well. People who are hurt tend to attack those who are closest to them, so be ready for some fight.
If you’re adamant about separating, understand that it’s going to be processed. All your things have been shared and it’ll take time to make arrangements in all aspects.
Breaking Up with The Love of Your Life
Junot Diaz, a writer once wrote, “Once you start imagining about the start, it’s the ending.”
Nobody joins a relationship feeling that it’s going to result in a breakup. However, there’ll be a time when you need to be the one that will initiate the breakup. In this sense, the relationship is never like movies. And so, how do you determine when it’s time?
According to Dr. Walsh, “when you start to think if you should separate or how to break up with someone who loves you, it’s time.” “When you change from questioning what will resolve the problems to whether you should leave the relationship, it’s an illuminating sign that the issues may be beyond resolving.”
Like for example: When you strove to resolve your relationship issues through real effort, open communication, and even professional help, and improvement just is not happening. (This is not an important step that shouldn’t be ignored.)
Maybe vital aspects like your values, life goals, and mentalities no longer match or perhaps never really did, and it’s something you’re not eager to give up. This is particularly essential if you’re surrendering small bits of yourself to make an effort to work things out.
At other times, you just don’t feel the fire and the same love anymore, and you’re not being sincere about it. After all, you don’t have to have a “right” reason to split up with someone. You might adore them as a good friend, but no longer as you another half. For your own sake, and your spouse or companion, don’t hold it off.
Breaking Up with Someone You Love and Live With
This is not a point in time to stick to Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” Just fall back, Jack; Catch the bus, Gus; Don’t want to be coy, Roy. No, no, and no.
So how to end a relationship without hurting her?
Dr. Walsh said you need to be honest. Telling your partner how you feel about her/him and the relationship and why displays respect for yourself, your other half and the relationship.”
“Be positive with any judgment and be eager to understand some about yourself.”
Keeping in mind his or her emotions is very important, but get straight to the point.
Taking consideration of his or her feelings is important, but don’t get away from it. Be sure and straight to the point. You must say the words. (How many times do you have to ask, “Are you breaking up with the love of my life?”)
“Oh, have the conversation in person, face to face. This must go without telling,” Dr. Walsh says. In this digital technology era, the clue is essential.
Dr. Walsh also shared that if there’s one thing you should never say while breaking up with a good person is, “It’s all your fault.”
After all, it takes two people to tango. If you’re in a relationship were mistakes falls more so, on the one side, you need to take the high road and avoid these lines.
How to Overcome a Breakup
There are lots of good things that happen after breakups. You have more time to better yourself, explore new things and planning quality time when family and friends.
Yes, sad things also transpire after breakups. You must limit the communication after the split for both your sakes and please evade the social media rabbit hole. Is that his new partner or just an office mate? It’s not your business anymore, Susan.
If you are left feeling sad and lonely, bear with. Almost certainly, you spend time and energy into the relationship and still, something made you cut it short. You must trust your gut feeling. But keep in mind, you can be sad, too. That doesn’t mean it was a wrong decision.
Breaking up with someone you love and live with can be depressing, however, it’s not a blind alley. It is of the highest importance to stay calm and relaxed, once the final decision is made.
Your partner can become psychologically wary and might be susceptible to controlling behaviors like screaming, lying, gaslighting, begging and any other means to pull you back on the other edge. If useful for you, put into writing every reason for the split. This will avoid you from losing your judgment.
Then, if possible, look for another home to crash. You can simply ask your friends or relatives. Breaking up is always miserable especially for the other party. And so, it needed, give some time and room for the mend and to recuperate.
Finally, find your single self and start loving everything about life again.