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Lovers Should Stay Friends After Breakup, Yay or Nay?

Let’s define first what “being friends” means. Being friends with someone means you trust that person with all your heart, you share the same affection towards each other and most of all, supporting each other with whatever endeavors he or she is experiencing. In every intimate relationship, it always started with being friends. Friendship became the foundation of romance between lovers. Have you ever broken up with someone and questioned: “Can we be friends again or can we still consider each other as friends?” There are friends out there that have fallen in love with each other but are afraid of commitment because they will lose everything just like the friendship they built. As their relationship prosper, they face a lot of problems and those conflicts make them know the person they are in love with at that very moment. Eventually, when conflicts became worse and the only solution is a breakup. Here are the different reasons that will tell whether lovers should stay friends after breaking up.

Cheating

Cheating is one of the grave offenses why lovers breakup. It is a conscious decision when made. It is an act resulted from a feeling of inadequacy or wanting something more from your partner. Instead of telling directly to your partner that there is something wrong in your relationship, talking and patching things up, you opted to find what you are looking for to someone else. When you ask others if they should stay friends after breaking up,  if the reason for that certain breakup is due to cheating, the answer is no. They have a point anyway. If they have cheated on you, what are the possibilities that they will not do it again, right?

Toxic relationship

There are a lot of types of relationships. Examples of those are toxic relationships and healthy relationships. How can be a certain relationship considered a toxic one? Hindering the growth of one’s partner is an example of a toxic relationship. Not wanting your other half to grow professionally or in any aspect. Just like cheating, this is a common breakup issue because the other party feels being suffocated. Because of it, happiness, when you’re together, subsides resulting in separation. When you ask others if they should stay friends after breaking up, if the reason for that certain breakup is due to cheating, the answer is yes. They say that everyone is subject to change. The chances for that certain change is high. People, nowadays, also still believe in second chances. They also said that when two lovers should stay friends after breaking up, the chance of committing is still possible.

Too possessive partners

Having a possessive partner may be good in some ways. For example, we feel valued, secured and gives us a lot of butterflies in our stomach especially if they show it to many people. But having a too possessive partner in a relationship is no longer healthy. This also can be a reason for, eventually, having a toxic relationship. They hinder the growth of the other and sometimes due to too much jealousy, they have opted for physical and emotional abuse. Women from this kind of relationship chose not to be friends with their former partners if asked if they should stay friends after breaking up. We cannot blame them actually.

Women from this kind of relationship are traumatized and are hard to cope up. They find it hard to reconnect to people and start from square 1. Being friends with their exes will just bring memories, the painful. It will be hard for them to move on and continue their lives if they will have continuous communication with them. Seeing them every day will also hinder them to move forward. Some women choose to live somewhere to forget the person and also the painful moments they have been through. They have different kinds of healing and coping up. 

A partner who frequently lies

Cheaters are all liars but not all liars are cheaters. People lie for a reason. For example, you lie when the dish your girlfriend is not good but instead of hurting her feelings, you shut your mouth and continued eating. Another example is when you have a date with your girlfriend but you loved to play video all day long so you ended up telling her you are sick.  When you are in a relationship, lying is inevitable. Honesty is a vital element in making a relationship lasts long that is why a lot of hearts are broken into pieces because of lack of honesty towards each other and trust with one another. If you will ask others if they should stay friends after breaking up, most of them say yes but as not they used to be before they become lovers. They say they find it hard to trust again that certain person. Again, they do have a point. Lying becomes a habit if continuously exercised and old habits die hard. 

Words to ponder

In life, before we find the person we consider as the one, we undergo a series of breakups. Breakups give us an opportunity to learn the things we failed to learn in life. Just like in Math, being in a relationship is a trial and error process. Learning from the mistakes we had teaches us not to do it again to avoid the same result. Being friends with your ex actually depends upon the basis of why you two break up in the first place. Different people have different experiences. We cannot tell others that they should stay friends after breaking up with their former partner if that person did something that is not worthy of their forgiveness. Some broken up couples who chose to be friends again with their exes have a little awkwardness with each other. They are not really being friends; they are more like being civil with one another. They may be friends or not, the important thing is they have experienced happiness with others while they were still together. Some may not be as happy as the others; lessons learned from it are what matters.

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