Are you and your spouse always arguing about money? Just so you know, money issues in marriage destroy many married couples, because in all cases, money is the number one issue that many married couples fight about and worse, divorce for financial reasons. It is not a secret that fighting about money has always been a big strain on a relationship and there are so many reasons and so many aspects why couples fight about money. What you may not know is that the challenges can happen if you did not do the financial planning before marriage.
If you are experiencing any financial stress in marriage or any financial crisis in marriage, it only means that your relationship is not healthy and that you two are really in need of some money and marriage tips. Save your marriage as much as possible and don’t let money or financial problems cause divorce. To help you and some of the married couples on how to manage finances in a marriage, this article will help you in dealing with married couple of money issues. This article will serve as your marriage counseling money issues and will give you tips and advice on how to approach finances in a relationship. It will also discuss the common factors why couples argue about money.
Arguments about money
There are so many people who agree that the bog source of conflict in a relationship is all about money. Learn about these common financial issues reasons that most married couples are facing nowadays. Understand why it leads to that kind of situation.
Couples don’t share about their finances
In a relationship where each spouse works, they usually can’t agree on financial issues. They don’t even have time to talk about their finances. Nowadays, it is a hard thing to do on how should married couples split finances or allocate them fairly and equitably. The moment their bills are being paid, each spouse spends what is remaining. It’s may sound like a good plan after all, but the procedure may build some kind of resentment over the purchases made by each spouse. That can also divide the power of spending and may eliminate the financial value of marriage. It can also ruin the plans just like retirement. It normally causes financial infidelity because there is no transparency when it comes to spending.
Debt usually starts from school loans, personal loans, car loans, credit cards or even gambling habits. In a survey, a lot of people come to the altar with so much debt at their back. If one partner has more debt than the other partner or the other partner is debt-free, the clash may start when discussing income. People who are entering marriage knowing that they are carrying so much debt will become a very big problem when the time comes. For it is said that debts incurred after marriage, in most countries or states under the common law, are owed jointly or by both spouses. It may seem kind of unfair, but that is what the law says. However, a spouse will not be liable for debts of their partners before marriage in some states, but if there are any debts incurred after marriage, it is automatically shared, whether you like it or not.
Personality towards money
The attitude of a spouse or partner plays a big role in issues about money. Even if couples don’t have debts at all, the conflict about savers and spenders will also be an issue and a big deal. When you are still single, it is essential if you already knew to yourself about the personality you have when it comes to money. The same is true with your partner. The two of you must address the personality or attitudes towards handling cash. It is always a blessing that in every couple, there is one who is known to be a good saver. Even if the other one is a big spender. In that situation, the saver would always end up guiding and trying to hinder all the unnecessary things that their partners are spending. Which in result, causes a fight. Whatever personality you and your partner resemble, it is always best to know bad habits when it comes to spending.
Superiority or power
This issue may occur when one party does have a job and the other doesn’t have. Each of the spouses would like to make as much money as possible, yet in some cases, the other one is unemployed. Which ends up having one spouse on being superior over their other spouse who doesn’t have a job. Or just simply, one partner came from a wealthy family, and the other came from the average class of family. It happens in most relationships, that there is a money earner or the one who has the most money who acts like a superior or dictates the spending in a relationship. Even though it happens in most relationships, it is also important that couples will cooperate as a team.
Expenses for children
Raising a child entails a very big cost for parents. Expenses start the moment your child was born. From food, clothing, medicine, education, tuition fees, and all the needs and wants of a child, everything must and should be provided. Aside from these, there are so many upcoming expenses that parents will face. But always remember, raising a kid is not just about the cost, because if one partner decides to work at home or decided to leave a career to take care of children, it may change marriage dynamics, lifestyle, retirement and more.
Presence of extended family
Taking care of finances, needs and knowing that a spouse has their family to still support can be a very big deal. In-laws can be a great factor why couples disagree and argue. Lucky are those who have in-laws who cut ties when it comes for financial support from their family members when they got married. Some couples continue with their responsibilities for their family even if they are married. It can be a good thing, but it can’t always be a good thing for another partner. Of course, you two wanted to save but you can hardly save due to some unending responsibility because of the in-laws. In most cases, a partner who still supports her parents and siblings has no choice at all. They have to, even if their partner will not agree. The joys of the family often extend right into the wallet or even from the couple’s savings.
Ways to prevent money from Ruining a relationship
As they say, money is the root of all evil. Well, it is somehow true enough as money issues can be very troublesome. To help pave the road to stop fighting in marriage because of money issues and to ease any financial stress in a relationship, check out these helpful tips that can help in preventing money from destroying your marriage and relationship.
Do not make yourself up for disaster
First of all, money issues may start at the wedding. The first mistake that a couple may make was to spend too much on their wedding. Yes, most girls tend to have their dream wedding and guys would do everything to grant that. But the problem was that many couples can’t afford that one-day celebration so they end up going into debt to pay for it. Just a piece of advice, always live within your means. If you have extra money to spend on your fancy wedding, go for it! Who in this world doesn’t want to have a grand wedding, right? But if you think your budget is limited, well go for a simple one, something smaller or find other ways to make the wedding fancy yet affordable. The cost of the wedding won’t pay the cost of financial stress it will bring to you if one day you’ll end up drowning in debt in marriage problems.
Discuss if you are experiencing financial difficulties
Disclosing your current financial situation with your partner can be a very big help in marriage. It is recommended to disclose it before tying the knot. It may seem uncomfortable and awkward in a way, but it is the best thing to do. Do not pretend like you are rich or showing off something that you are not. You are just making the situation worse. Discuss with your significant other about your existing debts, loans, investments or other obligations. The same is true with those who were married already and are facing the same situation. Always open up with your partner. They marry you and vowed, “For richer or for poorer.” Surely they will help you with your situation and that they will understand. Addressing this kind of issue is very important most especially for married couples. Don’t let money ruin everything.
Debts were normal in life because even billionaires have their debts as well. But what is not normal is how a person manages or handles debt. Many couples who deal with debts are often an issue. In the first place, you know what you are getting yourself into and you already decide that you are dealing with it. If this happens, both partners must have an honest, non-judgmental discussion about possible bad spending habits that should be avoided. Couples must learn how to manage their expenses because the debt of your partner will become your debt too whether you like it or not. You support each other most especially in dealing with your loans and debts. Both parties must know about it. If possible, perform accounting debts and consider applying common payoff strategies. Each couple must be very open when it comes to their debts and help each other in saving for them to pay it.
Do not forget to budget
Budgeting is the most effective way to keep track of money. It may be tedious, but if you practice this and if you have it, it yields to essential benefits. If a family has their budgets most especially for emergency funds, it can make a big difference. You need to at least allocate money for the bills or expenses, and the rest should always go to the savings. Never forget to put on your savings every payday. At least, little by little, you have an emergency fund. And also consider investing your money whether be it in banks or real estate or the like, to make your money grow. It is always best to invest early. At Least you have something to look forward to in the future.
When it comes to keeping secrets, you and your spouse would then be having some issues. Unfortunately, keeping secrets will happen in every relationship, especially when it comes to money. Yes, it is important to be private in terms of money but remember that you are already married. Your spouse has the right to know how much you earn and know your savings. Bank accounts and the like should always be disclosed. Most especially when it comes to spending using the credit card. Nowadays, some people are in a relationship that hides their big purchases. Thus, it can be toxic to the relationship and may lead to bigger emotional issues down the line. A person who keeps on hiding secrets destroys the trust of the other. Be transparent about how you manage your finances with your spouse as much as possible.
Keep in mind the golden rule
Always treat your spouse the way you wanted him or her to treat you. This is one thing that married couples should do even if they are married for so long. Many said that the biggest problem every couple in this world face when it comes to money is on how they argue and treat each other about it. It is not wrong to complain about something, but make sure to use words that will not spark a fight more. Stay calm and always talk in a nice way to avoid hurting your spouse.
A partnership is always a label for marriage. Stop making money mistakes as early as possible. Communicate your partner whenever you make a decision that involves money. Sooner or later you will get used to this practice anyway. Be transparent and be open every time because, in a family, it is always the husband and the wife who will help each other.
Do not compete with everything because marriage is not a competition for who earns a lot or who gets a lot of pay. A married couple should help together especially in budgeting to avoid married couple of money issues go in their way.