Most broken women avoid relationships altogether. They do not like the baggage that they bring to the relationship and they often feel that they are not worthy of the care and attention being given to them. As much as possible, they don’t want to be in a relationship and tied down. They do date but they are careful not to commit. They are even very careful in choosing their friends, in fear of being alienated once they find out about her brokenness.
Before they decide to commit, they go over the decision over and over until they are convinced they have made the right decision. When they are in a relationship, they may be the most loving and caring people but they would also become withdrawn at times and full of insecurity. It’s usually a see-saw of emotions at times, this takes a toll on their relationships.
Brokenness is most of the time a product of betrayal or being cheated on and physical and mental abuse. Broken women most of the time have difficulty acclimating themselves into a relationship. Since they have a tumultuous experience or past, they don’t open up easily as one wants them to be. This is also the reason why they have trouble sharing themselves with others. They keep a chunk of their life in private in fear of exposing their vulnerabilities to people, even friends.
They fear that when they’re vulnerable, they’ll be easy targets to hurt. Being painfully hurt in the past leads them to question most peoples’intent in forging friendships with them or in seeking a relationship with them. In some cases, they tend to attract “their kind”- the broken or emotionally damaged ones. This is because they may have found someone who could relate to them and their journey thinking that this is good for them. What they do not know that a broken woman and a broken man forming a relationship are not emotionally nor mentally healthy.
Can a broken woman be in a good, healthy relationship? The answer is yes, and no. Here’s why.
A broken woman can be in a good relationship so long as her partner accepts her completely, chips and all. Being in a healthy relationship means bringing the best in each other and supporting each other in times of defeat or failure. It means having to be there for the good and staying, even for the bad. After all, relationships aren’t monotonous. People are involved, not machines.
When a broken woman enters into a relationship, she will have a lot of issues because she has a lot of baggage from her past. She won’t be too trusting, she still has her guard up, and she will be very emotional in her approach to most things. As her partner, you must be aware and have an action plan on how you would deal with this. Show her you are trustworthy and that she does not have to worry about anything, even with work. Let her know you care by supporting her dreams but also be her voice of reason when she’s all verklempt to use logic and rationale in addressing her situation. Make sure you come across as concerned yet supportive and loving but firm.
Most broken women in relationships tend to go hot and cold. One moment, she loves you with all her heart and would do anything to make you happy. The other, well, she despises you because she thinks you’re just using her or don’t care about her. They do not have an on and off switch. It’s just that they are made that way by their harrowing past. She will also self-pity most of the time so as a partner you should be prepared for that. She won’t be swayed by flowery words and promises. Much like a child, she’s a keen observer reading your behavioral patterns and body language. That is why you need to be consistent- that way they won’t be dubious of your actions.
Broken women can’t be in a healthy relationship if her partner cannot accept her fully. What is troublesome is when her partner knows her emotional instability but brushes it off because he’s there for the romance and believes she will just change through time. A sign that she’s in a toxic relationship is when the time comes that they have an argument or a simple misunderstanding, her partner will pin the fault on her because she’s insecure or that she’s too emotional.
This is a sign of trouble and it will only damage her further. Broken women do not need to be reminded of their baggage whenever there’s a problem in the relationship. As a partner, you are looking for someone you could grow with and not play the blame game. If you are not mature enough to handle a broken woman, do not start a relationship with them. Do not make advances and get her hopes up if you cannot handle her at her worse.
Some men are attracted to broken women because, just like a woman attracted to a broken man, they think they can fix her. They think that they can help her overcome her demons. While it is noble, the intent is not admirable. If a man or a woman does this, it’s because they want a trophy- someone they can parade as their achievement. They do not think of the repercussions this will bring. This is not beneficial to any parties involved, especially in the long run.
Broken women and relationships usually do not always make a good pair. There are a lot of self-imposed barriers and a lot of indifference. While they might seem to be happy and content with being alone, deep inside they are also longing for companionship and love. They too deserve to be happy and be loved despite their brokenness. Only those who are brave and strong enough to love her can bring her to guard down, allowing her to come out of the deep hole she’s stuck in, and resolve to love again.