Should I Break Up With Him the Checklist?
The sad truth is: Life is nothing like the fairy tales we grew up listening to where the princess and the prince meet, they fall in love right away, they kiss, and live happily ever after. For some, it can bring a lot of happiness, and that is good! That means that those two people understand each other, know what they want and what they can give, and both can compromise to settle problems they might encounter while in a relationship. But, let’s be honest, relationships can be a bit messy too and cause more pain than joy to both parties.
If you happen to feel like your relationship falls under the second one, you might need to reconsider staying in a relationship. If you have been asking yourself “should I break up with him”, this might come in handy for you. Listed in this article are a couple of scenarios you might relate to and my advice. Let’s get to it!
- If one of you cheats
Ladies, the default answer to this is a big yes. Of course! Why would you stay in a relationship with someone who is not contented with having you around and sets off to find someone else while in a relationship with you? If he finds someone else or at least tries to, then you are most definitely better off without him. If he really loves you, he would not want to be with anybody else than you, and he should be happy and content that you’re ar
- If someone has physically hurt the other
Yes, honey, break up with him if he has ever hurt you physically. Yes, that is abuse and no one ever deserves that but also because if he has done it the first time, there is a good chance that he will do it again. And you are no punching bag! You are a fragile woman who deserves love, care, and affection, and not an inanimate thing that he can lay his fists on when he is in a bad mood.
- If you think about hooking up with other people
Break up because thinking about being together with someone else might actually urge you to act on that idea, and you will then be the cheater. Thinking about being with someone else while in a relationship could also be a sign that you are not happy with the person you are with.
- If there is no trust
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who always checks your inbox while you are taking a shower, or someone who spies on you while you are at work just to make sure that you’re not out seeing someone else. Your partner should have trust in you, and the same goes for you. If not, then I’m sorry to say that if you ask me the question “should I break up with him” with this as the reason, I will have to say yes. It just isn’t going to work.
- If one of you is no longer in love with the other
Why would people want to be in a relationship? Because they are in love, right? Now if that no longer is the case, you might want to consider calling it quits with your guy. Both of you might have done nothing wrong, but sometimes, things just go south and there really isn’t much we can do about it. You deserve someone who would love you, and your partner does as well, and staying in a one-sided relationship would keep the other one from meeting that one person who would love him for the rest of his life. You would not want to be that someone who keeps a person from finding true love, would you? Ouch, that’s a bit harsh, but that’s the truth.
- If he is self-centered and only cares about himself
A relationship is about two people sharing some things in common, enjoy each other’s company and being a good support system for one another. Now if all he ever talks about is how great he did at his basketball game with his friends yesterday, or how his boss complimented him at work today, or how he brags about not having to take the train today because his colleague gave him a ride home, if he does not ask about you, how you are feeling, or what you think about certain things, then you are probably dating an energy vampire. An energy vampire is someone who thinks the world revolves around them, and trust me, although they could be really fun to be with sometimes, staying with this type of person is going to drain you in the long run. You can’t be the only one interested to know how his day went, that question should be asked to you in return as well! Relationships should be a give-and-take situation. So, if you ask me, “Should I break up with him?”. Yes, a hundred percent.
- If you would rather hang out with your friends than your partner
Of course, in the early stages of your relationship, it would be understandable that you would be missing a couple of get-togethers with your friends, and that you would want to make it up to them by spending time with h=them. But if you find yourself wanting to spend more time with them than your partner, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why that is. Are you not feeling as happy with your partner as you are with your friends? Are you feeling much more understood by your friends? If your answers to these questions are all yeses, then you might need to reconsider if staying in the relationship is what you really want.
- If there are more fights than there are happy moments
Of course, couples get into a fight, even the most compatible people are bound to have something to disagree on. But if you and your partner argue more than you have fun together, then you might want to consider raising the white flag.
- If you cannot be your true self around your person
Be that silly girl who laughs at even the corniest jokes! Be that person who would cross the street, dancing. Eat one more slice of your favorite cake, sing that song one more time, color your hair blue, wear that rainbow-colored shirt, watch that movie again until you have memorized all the characters’ lines, sing that Korean song over and over again. Not everybody is going to like you, what you do, or how you do things. You might be the most perfect person in someone’s eyes, but for some, you might not be that great. Why? Because we are not everybody’s cup of tea. And if your partner wants to change something about you which makes you who you are, screw that idea, and say “sayonara”. If he loves you, he would never want to change you! He should love you unconditionally, and so should you, so be your true, authentic self!
Relationships are not all fun and games, they tend to get really messy at times, and there’s just nothing we can do about that because we do not have control over everything. But when things get really messy, and you think you two could use a break, there is nothing wrong with that. You need to take care of yourself and your partner too, and sometimes, calling it quits is the best thing to do. If there has been cheating, physical abuse, if your partner wants you to change something you really like about yourself, if he does not trust you or care enough to understand how you are doing, then you might need to break up with this guy. Some people are destined to meet, but not meant to be, and that’s one possible reason why things happen the way it did between the two of you. It is going to hurt but think about it this way—you are making room for the right person, that one person who would just do everything right. That’s what you are doing. You are making room for something great.
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