For a long time, long-distance relationships have gained notoriety of breaking up long-standing relationships. This may be due to the amount of effort one has to put in to maintain the said relationship. While there are others who succeed in fostering a healthy long-distance relationship, some just fail miserably.
There are a lot of contributing factors to make long-distance relationships work. It requires full commitment and understanding in order for it to survive. This means it needs the people involved to be prepared before they sign up for it and to proceed with caution. Both parties must be willing to work hand in hand in order for the relationship not only to survive but to succeed.
Human as we are, there are times that our weakness gets the better of us. This may be prevalent in most couples who are far away from each other. In most cases, it is caused by the longing for your partner. In other cases, especially if you’ve been away for too long, it is caused by being distant and having nothing in common anymore.
There are usually tell-tale signs of cheating before things get out of hand. Some of them may be too innocent, to begin with, but it is what makes it dangerous. So what are the signs that she is cheating while staying in a long-distance relationship with you?
Here are some indicators that she’s cheating on you and how you can deal with it accordingly.
Making up excuses.
The most glaring sign she’s cheating on you is she’s making up excuses why she’s busy, in short, she’s constantly lying to you. She may delay your virtual dates at a later day, she may even miss anniversaries. She may tell you she’s busy with work, or she forgot because she went out with her work friends to de-stress. While those may be good reasons, they are flawed and not fool-proof. If you’re aware of her work schedule and you both already have a workaround of how you’re going to make things work, then you will definitely notice the abrupt changes. This begets an unsettling feeling. This just means she’s in too deep with her lies thus jeopardizing your relationship.
In order to get the truth out of your partner, you should be very keen in observing patterns. You must have a game plan in place before you confront or talk to her. You can’t let your emotions get in the way, and you should not dive on it prematurely. Get facts, list or keep questions you need answers to. Have leading questions so it’ll be easy and clear for both of you.
Change of priorities.
Another sign she’s cheating on you is the shift of her priorities. Long into your time away from each other, she may find things that she used to value the most are no longer important to her. Her plans with you take a backseat and she’s not that affected by it despite the fact that it may hurt you. Her plan of coming home after her two-year contract may no longer be what she wants. She may have told you that she’d get the first flight out after her contract expires and won’t agree to an extension. She plans on coming home to you and brings you back with her so you could be together. But the minute she does the opposite, something may be going on.
What made her stay longer? What’s holding her back? Those are the questions you may have. Maybe she’s enjoying? But she told you many times she’s miserable, she wants to go home, she’s just waiting for her contract to end. Inconsistencies in her statements are red flags, no doubt about it. This part is a little tricky. This situation will spiral down, depending on how you take part in this.
The moment she confides something to you about her work-life situation, it means she needs someone she can be raw and honest with. She needs someone who will talk sensibly and be able to accept whatever decision she will make. Her emotions will be at an all-time high. Having someone rational rather than someone highly emotional as she is pivotal during this time. Be sure you are encouraging and helpful rather than being incessant on your agreed-upon plans. Plans change and for your relationship to thrive, you should be open to change so long as it’s good for both of you.
She has a close male friend from work.
Another way she’s cheating on you is that she has a close male friend from work or from the same block where she lives. This may actually start very innocent. They begin just as friends but if it develops into something more than that, then it is definitely a concern. It’s okay to be friends with the opposite sex but sharing a bit of intimacy such as going to the movies alone, having lunch or dinner dates alone, and visiting each other’s place is definitely a red flag. It is no longer just a friendship but something more than that. This is the trickiest part because she will definitely just say they are just friends and it might boomerang back to you when you try to talk to her or confront her. She will tell you that you do not trust her and that you have grown very insecure and controlling.
Many women are guilty of this, especially if they are longing for their partners who are away from them. The best thing to do before this happens is to put an agreement in place such as not having a close guy friend and the same should apply to you- no close friend of the opposite sex. When you both have agreed that you will not forge a close relationship with the opposite sex, you have to stick by it because you’ll never notice that it is something more than just friendship until you’re in too deep.
Watch out for the signs!
If your girlfriend is exhibiting the aforementioned signs, then it’s time to have a discussion on the direction your relationship is taking. It is much better, to be honest, and frank about both your feelings and what you want to happen to avoid miscommunication and hurting each other even more. This way, even if it ends, you know very well that you’ve done all you could to take care of your relationship and be a good boyfriend or partner. It might hurt for a while but at least you can move on with a clean conscience.
Your commitment covers the effort, the time, the resources, and the willingness you pour into the relationship. If your girlfriend does not have the patience and perseverance for a long-distance relationship, then your relationship is bound to fail. A long-distance relationship is not for the faint of heart. It takes someone committed and strong enough to weather the storm that life throws at them.