Rejection is a part of life that you will face sooner or later and if it has struck you, there are ways on how to get over being rejected. It is important to note that no one has succeeded in life or love without facing rejection first.
All of us experience rejection at some point in life, making it an unavoidable aspect of life. Nevertheless, being rejected can cause one to feel truly alone, unwanted or outcast. In life, the pain an individual feels is not grounded on the loss, but on what he/she tells himself/herself about the experience as well as punishing methods we put ourselves down or saturating our minds with disheartened thoughts.
Effective ways on how to get over being rejected
According to recent studies, it was discovered that the reaction of an individual to rejection is also rooted in certain elements and past events. Due to this, the response of an individual to rejection is often equally or more important than the rejection itself. This is the reason why it is vital to learn ways on how to get over being rejected.
Change on perspective
The capability to see things as changeable has a strong effect on how one manages rejection. In one study, the basic beliefs of a person about personality are a contributing factor to whether one can recover or stay trapped in a state of rejection. Persons who have “fixed” mindsets and view personality as unchangeable are likely to point the finger at themselves. When an individual faces rejection, he/she has the inclination to second guess and critique themselves and perceive future relationships as a lost cause.
On the other side, persons who have a “growth” or open mindset view their personalities as changeable. In case of a breakup, it is viewed as an opportunity to change and grow. Individuals with this type of mindset can recover emotionally from a rejection more quickly.
If one embraces the idea that life is flexible and the losses that come our way serve as opportunities, it promotes growth and one suffers less during a rejection.
Do not listen to your inner critic
As humans, we are not only affected by what happens to use but also by the filter in which we view what happens to us. Remember that the “inner voice” of a person colors the way one views the world. This so-called “inner critic” is designed to criticize or destabilize us. It often produces early life experiences that are negative which provide a basic feeling of being incorrect or bad in some way.
It is vital to consider that your “inner voice” maintains a cycle of self-destructive mindset, oftentimes with self-restricting or self-destructive actions. When a bad event or rejection occurs, one should consider the “inner voice” as an enemy. With this method, it can help one maintain a sensible and healthy mind frame when recuperating from rejection.
Avoid the “rose-colored glasses” perspective
When one faces rejection, the majority are often predisposed to bolster whoever or whatever is rejecting them. It simply means that jobs that one cannot get seem better or miserable relationships seem blissful once it has ended. Take note that dealing with rejection is more difficult if one grieves for something that did not truly exist in a colorful way.
If a person feels rejected, he/she often feels willing to tear oneself apart while building up the one who rejected them. One starts to venerate the individual or relationship and yearns for it while at the same time supporting the concept of being less than or worthless.
Take note that the root cause of the pain does not have a connection with the reality of what was lost and has more to do with the depressing feeling about one’s self that drives one to rely upon fantasy over reality.
Feel the pain
Although hating oneself is a waste of time, trying to brush off your feelings is not beneficial when experiencing a painful event at one point in life.
During a rejection, it is vital to allow oneself to feel anger or sadness that stirs up when feeling rejected. Take note that some of these feelings will go deeper because they trigger old emotions. One might feel afraid to feel these feelings, thus some end up attacking themselves or the individual who rejected them.
It is important to remember that one can always choose how to act and while we should not allow our feelings to take control of how we behave, they must not be switched off entirely. An adaptive approach to how to get over being rejected is to allow yourself to feel your feelings while remembering that these feelings come in waves.
If you are under significant pain or feel swamped by emotion, the best advice is to seek help. Oftentimes, one can be relieved by allowing yourself to feel sadness but do not dwell on it.
Steer clear from a victimized mindset
Although it is vital to acknowledge and feel your true feelings, pondering in your suffering or feeling victimized is not beneficial in any way.
After being rejected, you might be lured to indulge excessively in your anger or brood over your conditions, but this can lead to a “victimized” mindset where you end up trapped in your suffering.
Whether you feel angry or demoralized by your victimized feelings, both are not beneficial in helping you move on in a healthy manner. It is essential to have a sense of integrity with your actions even if you feel hurt or at your weakest point.
Embracing your individuality
After a painful rejection, especially if you will listen to your inner voice, it is easy for any insecurities to arise and one will feel less secure.
When breaking up with someone, one finds that he/she is out of place. It can be painful to revisit certain places, activities or even people for a time. Nevertheless, this phase serves as a chance to connect with your individuality.
Regardless of what brightens your perspective or makes you who you are, one should pursue such endeavors whether it can be old friends, new places or activities. Remember that trying new things or activities simply shows that new opportunities are available. This is a way to discover a new part of yourself. Maintaining old connections that matter to you shows that there is a whole life outside of whatever rejection that you experienced and life will surely go on.