Insecurity can ruin a good relationship. Sadly, many women are attracted to this type of men unconsciously. They may look sweet and sensitive at first but as their personality unfold, you start to see problems.
We all have insecurity in our lives but this doesn’t mean we cannot make a relationship work. The difference is in the amount of insecurity the man is struggling with that can have a significant impact on the success of the relationship.
When your boyfriend is insecure, it can be draining mentally and emotionally. It can lead to physical abuse which is a very dangerous situation in your life. In other words, the quality of your life will be affected.
People who are insecure get jealous easily. This is not the typical jealousy like texting your ex-boyfriend; it’s borderline possessive where he expects you to be together all the time. He gets jealous when you give your time and attention to others such as your family members and friends.
When you are exerting most of your energy trying to diffuse the jealousy, you need to rethink your status with him. If you allow his jealousy to take over the relationship, you will realize you are slowly losing friends and family.
He will constantly contact you and have the need to know every detail of your day. Early in the relationship, thus may look sweet but as you go forward with him, you will notice how controlling he is and the attempts he made to isolate you from your circle. He may even request or secretly access your password and accounts so he knows your every move.
Those who are insecure have trouble trusting people. This may be caused by previous relationship issues or neglect and abuse when he was a child.
His inability to trust not only contributes to jealousy but will also affect other aspects of your life. Trust is one of the foundations of a good relationship, and it will be hard to move forward with him is he refuse to learn to trust. He will question other people’s motives and intentions especially when it involves you. He will doubt you most of the time.
Going too fast
He pursues you, willing to do anything just to be with you and say he is crazy in love with you–a week after meeting you. Too good to be true. Your conflicted intoxicated emotions make you feel like he is the romantic guy straight from the fairy tale book.
Men who are looking for a healthy relationship understand it takes time to know a person well. If the new guy professes his love to you too soon, you might want to take a step back, take a deep breath and observe carefully for other signs of insecurity in a man.
A constant need for validation
Other common signs of insecurity in a man are the need for validation, all the time. He will try to get your attention and ask if you love him frequently. He has this fear that you might leave him and will ask you questions like do you still love him, fishing for compliments but still, refuse to believe what you say. This type of man really suffers from a struggle with low self-esteem.
This is one of the dangerous signs of insecurity in a man. The extreme insecurity often leads to unhealthy behaviors like stalking and checking on your phone. He will notice every comment you made, posts you liked and new friends you made online. He is updated with your online activities and knows every appointment of the day. He is obsessed with you.
Cannot accept criticism
Men with low self-esteem have trouble accepting feedback. They are hostile even to constructive comments or gentle criticism. He will see it as an attack on his personality and may have an extreme reaction to it. Pointing out his flaw is like putting salt to a wound which in this case his frail ego.
Aside from not being able to accept criticism, he will often blame others when things are not going as planned. Taking responsibility especially when he is at fault may translate as a failure for him and this will hurt his self-esteem.
If you often hear threats of breaking up from him, it might be a good thing to let it happen. This is one way to manipulate your emotions and thoughts. He will use excuses like you are not giving him the attention or you don’t love him anymore. He will use threats to test your loyalty and when you beg him, it will validate his ego. A guy who is insecurity tends to be selfish and have unhealthy patterns in the relationship.
What can you do?
Anyone who is in a relationship with someone who has very fragile self-esteem understand how tiring and draining dealing with this type of people. It usually leads to a toxic relationship. After discovering the signs of insecurity in a man, what can you do to save your sanity?
First step you can take is not changing the way you live your life. An insecure man will try to control how you dress and handle your affairs, but don’t allow it to happen. Know your worth and continue to be happy. If you choose to bend over to his demands, it will only feed his already existing condition.
Another step to take is to refuse to feel bad whenever he is trying to guilt-trip you because of his insecurity. Let go of the negative emotion he is trying to put on you. Remind yourself you are not responsible for his happiness nor insecurity. His inability to be contented and happy with himself is not in any way your fault.
It is important to note that not all signs of insecurity in a man are a hopeless case. The success of a long term relationship will also depend on how these men respond to their internal struggle and the willingness to be vulnerable and fix it. Some may require professional intervention in order for them to resolve it successfully.
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