In the early stage of a relationship, it can be tricky to differentiate between falling in love and obsession. As you get to know the girl, you may feel or see something off and this is a good way to see if it’s indeed a healthy relationship or otherwise.
What is an obsession?
Firstly, let us understand what obsession is. Obsession is thoughts, ideas or images that continually pops in your mind and refuse to go away. In a relationship, there is a specific term used-Obsession love disorder.
What is obsessive love disorder?
According to Healthline, obsessive love disorder is a condition where this person becomes obsessed with somebody she’s in love with and has the need to protect and control them.
A person with this obsession does not take rejection easily and she may react aggressively when the relationship ends. You might want to read: Why Is It So Hard To Handle Rejection
Individuals who are suffering from low self-esteem where they constantly need reassurance and have some type of personality or delusional disorder are at high risk.
What are the signs she is obsessed with you?
No personal space
If you feel like you have lost your personal space, be cautious. When somebody is in a healthy relationship, they don’t feel the need to meet every day. However, if she is obsessed with you, she feels the need to be around you all the time. She will convince or insist you bring her even to occasions that are not related to her.
She will be jealous almost all the time and this extreme jealousy stems from her insecurity and the need to control you. She will react to the opposite sex who interacts with you, even your co-worker. She will be suspicious and doubts your motive. Read more Can Jealousy Destroy Our Relationship
No understanding of privacy
Her obsession with you simply means she is willing to do the extreme. She requests your social media and emails passwords so she will know what you are doing all the time. She needs to make sure you are not cheating.
Cut from family and friends
If she starts complaining about your time with family or friends, it might be that she wants to slowly pull you away from your loved ones. Anyone that has the potential of taking your time from her she sees as an enemy. She may act clingy, a victim or look pity, so you will feel bad spending it with those you love.
If she constantly feels the need to protect you, it’s time to move out of the relationship! People who are obsessed do have the constant urge to “protect” but this is actually another form of control. May sound sweet at first but eventually, you will notice the insanity.
Refusal to trust
Another sign she is obsessed with you is she can’t trust you. When you are not returning her text, she thinks you’re with another woman. When you don’t say “I love you” back, she thinks you’re cheating. Even when you are being totally honest with her, she still refuses to trust.
People who are obsessed will notice the smallest details but in this case, to criticize. This is her way of manipulating, making you insecure and eventually dependent on her.
She monitors and checks your every move. She knows what you are doing online, during work and even when you are with your family affairs. Stalking is one of the obvious signs of obsession.
“I love you” too soon
No one who is mature and sane would say “I love you” too soon especially a few days after you met. If she saying the word, you might want to detach especially if you feeling off.
When you feel she is driving your life crazy, she is. All the controlling and manipulating behaviors can really make you confused, lost and angry. Not being able to enjoy the company of others, enjoying your personal time and constantly being with her is a toxic relationship. Read more: What Is A Toxic Relationship
Never letting go
This is a very sweet statement if it’s coming from someone you knew for years. When she is saying this to you while the relationship is still in the early stages is troublesome. Definitely sign she is obsessed with you.
Follows you everywhere
Feels like a coincidence when she is showing up when you are having lunch with a friend? If this type of coincidence happens at various times, this is a sure sign she is stalking and following you. This is dangerous behavior and you should be alarmed.
If you start getting threats from her because you refuse to do what she asked, she might be obsessed with you. Anyone who sincerely loves a person will not think about hurting them with threats. She will even threaten to hurt herself just so she can get you to do things her way. This is unstable behavior and anyone close to her should know. However, do not feel guilty whenever you choose to stop it because nobody should be an unsafe toxic relationship.
How do you differentiate between obsession and healthy relationships?
If you are in the early stage of a relationship, looking for signs she is obsessed with you might be futile. Infatuation – the phase where you keep thinking about each other and the desire to spend time with the person all the time – makes it difficult to differentiate.
Nonetheless, as time progress, you will see the infatuation becomes intense and the presence of delusional jealousy. If she has family members with a history of delusional disorder and is not employed, this might be a risk factor. Getting romantically involved with a person who is obsessed and trying to end it can difficult but to detach from a person with unhealthy behaviors will keep you safe and avoid unwanted incidents. She will need professional intervention and this is something that you cannot give.