Why is it so Hard to Handle Rejection?
Everybody wants to be happy and feel appreciated. Everyone loves and wants to be loved in return. That is our human nature and that is what separates us from other living things. Animals live with their instinct. They do not have deep emotions as to people. And they do not have a deep understanding and intelligence like humans do. That’s why human beings are fascinating. Our emotions, intelligence, and capacity are very complex. We are created to feel and show feelings. When we experience certain things, we have natural feelings and sometimes it’s hard to handle it.
Hence, aside from the positive and great abilities we possess, we also experience negative emotions that sometimes even we cannot fully understand and deal with. One of the many inevitable aspects of human beings is rejection. Opposite to wanting to be appreciated, valued and loved, here comes rejection. Rejection is simply a dismissal or refusal of a proposal, in this matter, of affections. All of us, some time in our lives, have experienced rejection. Whether it be a job application, college admission, love confession, or a dream audition, sometimes we face the opposite of what we want to happen and that’s when we are rejected.
However, one of the most painful rejections we can ever face is rejection in love. You confess your love to someone and find out that he/she doesn’t feel the same way. You feel rejected, and as a matter of fact, you are. Rejection in love is something that is very painful and harder to forget. Maybe someone can move on a lot faster when being rejected on a dream college than that of a dream girl. How is that so? Because love involves a lot of emotions. You may find yourself thinking it over and over again and wonder where you went wrong and what’s lacking in you. When you first realize that you are being rejected, you may temporarily be unable to sleep, speak, eat and even feel physically sick.
However, though these rejections come with or without prior notice and inevitable in nature, you can do something about it. You can’t control rejections, but you can control how you react to it.
If you have troubles in handling rejections, here are some ways on how you can deal with it, particularly in love:
1. Build up your perspective about the matter
The key is a good mental attitude. Remember that the feeling of rejection is just temporary and it will eventually go away. Some days you fail in a form of rejection, but some days you are rewarded with acceptance. You will always have good days and bad days. That girl you confess your feelings on and rejected your love is definitely not the one for you. The right person for you is the one who knows your values and loves you for who you are, and she’s not that. When you learn to let go, you are giving a chance for something better to come. You will be thankful for this experience in the future.
2. Occupy yourself with some physical activities
Physical activities force us to focus on the outside happenings rather than thinking of what you are feeling inside. You can enroll in the gym or play sports with friends. This benefits you physically as well.
3. Meet new people
When you go ahead and meet new people, you will realize that he/she is not the only person in the world. You’re going to meet many people in your lives that you will learn so much from, become good friends and learn their inspiring stories. Don’t be aloof and stay in the corner during social gatherings or worse, decide to stay home. Rather, go out, and explore. You’ll realize that your world is not just about one person.
4. Find time to travel
Just like meeting new people, traveling is fun and exciting. By traveling, you are letting go of all the negative feelings and feeding yourself up with new experiences. Your goal is to go home later on but not the same person again. You should have your travel take-aways. You will go home feeling refreshed and you’re up for a good start.
There are definitely many more effective ways you can handle and get over a rejection. But keep in mind that sooner you will be able to get back up and be in a better place. However, while handling a rejection, you need to be careful not to trick yourself on a seemingly good solution but later on, suffer from it. Maybe you will think that having a new relationship will be more likely to help you get over the rejection quickly, but keep in mind that it’s not a healthy way to deal with it. Since you are somehow using the other person to forget the past, and your feelings are not genuine, you will eventually hurt the other person’s feelings. That is just not the right way to deal with it. You better give yourself time, do not rush. Don’t start a new relationship when you are not yet emotionally ready and still mending your broken heart.
Truly, experiencing rejection and facing it is not that easy. The pain is excruciating and comes back again and again. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you are going to stand up again. Some rejection can create emotional scars in you, but as they said, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. So those scars symbolize failures and rejections you have won over and have made you stronger. Don’t hate rejections so much, take it as a tool for a better you. Maybe you can work on being a better person so that when the time comes that the right person arrives, you are more likely to be prepared and ready for it.
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